An escaped prisoner in a foreign land trips over a dead platypus and is knocked out near a river while being chased by the local militia of retired police officers since it's a national holiday. Over the course of the night, laying there unconscious, his DNA is examined by intelligent microbes not known to science and who have never seen a human before.
The intelligent microbes decide to alter their own dna so they can have arms and legs and in the matter of a fortnight they do so and grow rapidly. By this time our escaped prisoner has made it to the nearest small town which doesn't speak a language he knows.
That night the band of intelligent DNA modified microbes descends upon the town trying to find their creator. To fit in they steal clothes and drink at the local bar. They only talk in gestures and by drawing pictures.
Getting frustrated with the locals who don't understand them they fax a drawing portraying them holding the town hostage to the country's president saying the town is under their rule and everyone's a hostage until their creator is found. But he's been recaptured and is now in another country in solitary confinement for escaping.
Then the country's swat team laughs after a newbie hot blonde at SWAT HQ figures out that the fax isnt' a hoax and that the microbes are holding her grandmother and her 3 yr old daughter hostage as well. The microbes are getting smarter and more dexterous every minute. No one believes her so she steals a tank, the tank's manual and some ammo and drives to the town alone to rescue everyone.
Title: Blondes Have More Macrobez